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One Hundred & Five

By May 7, 2021No Comments

Or as you would say in Roman Numerals; CV. Unless you’re trying to figure out what Super Bowl it is or the order of Rocky films, Roman Numerals are fairly redundant. Like Roman Numerals, a CV is a little outdated. I think that LinkedIn very much killed the CV star. It cuts through the pish and tells us what we want to know; who they worked for and how long they worked for them. Nice and simple. Especially for me! I mean, I’m a recruiter more often than not talking to a recruiter, about a recruitment consultant. If I have to explain what the candidate spends their day doing something is terribly wrong. I appreciate not everyone works in this delightful inception type model so sometimes a bit of explanation is necessary but, surely this is done over the phone or face to face anyway? You may even send an email that has all the necessary information. A lot of the time the CV is introduced at the later stage or as a part of a process for a client’s ‘files’

It’s often said to me “let me know if there’s anything on my CV that you think I should change” glaring spelling mistakes aside I don’t stick my oar in, mainly because I don’t really think it matters. You could have the best CV in the world, if you go to an interview and avoid eye contact, give unclear answers, and ramble on that CV isn’t worth the posh paper (that you sprung for) it’s written on. I’m not saying have a shit CV complete with coffee ring stain and unformattable text. But, can we all stop pretending it’s the secret key to ‘your dream job’ It’s kind of a shame, in tough times a certain breed of recruiter looks at their sales cycle and attempt to squeeze as much money as they can. Instead of thinking of how they can add value to their client, they see the candidate as a more malleable means of extracting money.

I won’t call anyone out in particular as my itch for ending recruitment careers was scratched after taking The Sourcerer to task. In reality, I’m still harboring some guilt for cutting off a revenue stream, albeit one that flows to a fictitious flim-flam man. The idea that the right CV can result in the perfect job; anything from 10 Downing St to a CB partnership in a back 4 of a ‘Top 6’ club is often perpetuated by those looking to clip a ticket. I’ve seen anything from $120 – $200 for an ‘experienced’ recruiter to write your CV for you. If anyone’s seen Varsity Blues; The Admission Scandal doco on Netflix you’ll know the importance of having someone on the inside. However, a recruiter doing your CV is like getting pointers on how to undress from a stripper.

Don’t even get me started on these recruiters’ so-called experience, a year here a year there, rarely in a 360 role and yet in a position to tell you what to do. I think there’s an element of it speaking to people’s narcissism. “Oh, you’re very employable! You’re the main character and these people would be honored to have a cameo in your life. It’s just that we need to apply some spacing, bullet point that, remove the picture; perfect!” It’s also a little fraudulent if you’ve secured an interview on the back of this carefully curated curriculum vitae. If the CV has been improved to the point of securing an interview, surely it’s on the back of someone else’s work and importantly words?

There’s an old proverb; a monkey in silk is a monkey no less. If you’ve moved around heaps and left a bad impression on hiring managers it doesn’t matter what font you’re going to use! I’m sure I’m not alone from a recruitment perspective; I’d rather see a decent tenure with one or two organizations written on the back of a ciggie packet than 6-month stints at large companies etched onto Joseph Smith’s golden plates. Slightly hyperbolic but you get my point. We should care less about the shade of lippy that’s being meticulously applied and start paying attention to the snarling swine of a career path that’s getting tarted up. I’d actually be a supporter of this compartmentalized capitalism if they changed one thing; charge once the person has been placed into the job. Too many people are selling a dream, making promises but if you back yourself and your value you’re adding why not clip a ticket once your ‘client’ gets a result? Even those suspicious billboard lawyers will only charge a fee if you win your case.