My wife started talking to me about “people pleasing” the other morning. Apparently, ignoring my recommendations, they were talking about “people pleasers” on a podcast that she listens to. She was making the point that true “people pleasing” comes from a place of gutter-low self-esteem. Wanting to please people is natural. Gaining your whole sense of worth from it isn’t. She came to the conclusion that she didn’t fit the true criteria of a people pleaser. And that whatever the opposite of a “people pleaser” is, well that’s my diagnosis. My “self” is so over-brimming with esteem that my psyche subconsciously tries to “displease” in order for my esteem to not ruin the carpet. It’s an interesting theory. In my opinion, and the words of a 14th Century monk, “You can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time”.
Why am I banging on about cod-psychology you may wonder? Well firstly, welcome to The Whiteboard, and secondly I must admit that I’ve been enjoying the Ed Sheeran/Macklemore/Pink/Robert Kraft shenanigans over the past week. If you don’t know what I’m on about then I’m incredulous, but…to summarise: Seattle rapper Macklemore said “Free Palestine” onstage at an Ed Sheeran concert in New Jersey. Pink reshared a post calling for his removal. Billionaire Robert Kraft, who owns the next venue on the tour, banned Macklemore. The tour promoter (read: Sheeran) dropped Macklemore from all remaining US dates. Every other support act quit in solidarity. Sheeran said nothing. Kanye West is still touring. Now this has created two camps globally. One, in this instance figure-headed by Macklemore and the support acts, believe that when an infinitely-funded “nation” decides to commit genocide against babies, they are obligated to highlight this injustice. The other side, figure-headed by bingo-winged popster Pink, and Billionaire Zionist Robert Kraft, thinks that how dare Macklemore politicise the stage when all “their people” did was kill 70,000 largely unarmed men, women and children to reclaim land that was never theirs in the first place. Thankfully (for you), this blog isn’t about my political leanings.
It’s about the person in the middle. A certain pusillanimous wedding-song-minstrel who wouldn’t heed the advice of a 14th Century monk. Yep, you got it. Ginger wannabe-Irish-when-it suits songsmith Ed Sheeran. Ed, who is worth $400m and played at Robert Kraft’s wedding to a woman 33 years his junior, decided to take the route that so many of us take every day. Instead of growing a pair, and standing up for his convictions either way (as he has with the war in Ukraine and British politics), Sheeran decided to use ChatGPT to, in the words of the excellent David Farrier, write “the most pathetic, cowardly, selfish, privileged, maddening, morally bankrupt statement I could imagine – all couched in the most spineless language and worldview imaginable”. You can read Sheeran’s statement everywhere currently, but it contains phrases like “To be a place of safety and sanctuary.”,”To maintain diplomacy.”, and “To keep conversations open.” – all the time blocking anyone from commenting on his Instagram post.
When the dust settles, I can’t help but think that Ed Sheeran will come out worst of all. Macklemore will be lorded by anyone in possession of both a brain and a heart. Pink and Kraft will be heroes to approximately 15 million people with a disproportionate amount of power and influence. Sheeran, by playing it safe and trying to placate his paymasters, whilst not alienating his more “edgy” fan base, is going to look a fool in front of everyone.
We should probably talk about recruitment now right? Or at least employment. Well, you can see this desire to please everyone happening every day in every recruitment agency. And it’s probably our single biggest issue. Like Sheeran, we can’t help but ooze obsequious sycophancy to any Robert Kraft who flashes a shekel our way. Us recruiters never know how to say “no”, especially to clients. Especially especially to new clients. We will spend two years telling everyone how sh*t a company is, and how we’d never work for them, until they put us on the PSA. We will take briefs that pay far too little and flog ourselves to death to find a candidate willing to work for $30k less than market rate. We’ll be an Accounting & Finance specialist until a good client asks for a Receptionist. We’ll drop our fees or change our terms of business when we have absolutely no legal or moral reason to (well I won’t. Ha!). We cannot help but people-please. Who hurt us???
There’s another issue that Sheeran is guilty of, and I’m excluding his absolute dog-sh*te music today. He’s also complicit. Not that long ago, you could get away with being there providing you weren’t really involved. Before #MeToo, you could/would/and probably should politely snigger at your bosses slightly sexist joke. You’d ignore workplace bullying provided it wasn’t aimed at you. Finger in the till? Not my finger, not my till. However, we now live in more enlightened times. Standing there, doing nothing, turning the other cheek, sniggering politely, all creates an environment where bad things happen. When people talk about toxic workplaces, this is what got them there. Good people doing nothing. Keeping our head down. Maintaining the status quo. Not speaking up or taking sides. Or in the words of that gutless bootlicker Ed Sheeran “I have my personal views on this devastating conflict. Just because I choose not to speak publicly, it doesn’t mean I don’t have them, and it doesn’t mean I don’t care. Nor does it mean I don’t support causes in my own, personal way.”
Anyway, that’s enough politicising from me today. F*ck Sheeran, F*ck Pink, F*ck Kraft, and Free Palestine.
^SW
