You never see an old man eating a Twix. Similarly, you won’t see them recruiting business support roles either. Are these things connected? Well, probably not, but with my birthday rapidly approaching, and the as-yet-unblogged-about story of Jason Cherrington’s “retirement”, let’s take a look at growing old disgracefully in recruitment. Pass me a Werther’s Original, hop onto my arthritic knee, and we’ll begin.
Firstly, most of us missed the ever so subtle announcement from the Accordant Group last month that Cherrington, CEO since 2021, is planning his exit and retirement towards the end of the financial year. “Cherrybomb” (as we like to call him) has overseen a particularly tough and tumultuous period for the industry as a whole, and quite frankly, must have sometimes wondered why the hell he accepted the job. I’m joking of course. He’s paid $650k a year, and I’d work for Consult for that. Although the financials haven’t set the world alight, Accordant haven’t fared any worse than any other large recruitment firm during the period, and arguably, Cherrington was responsible for acquiring the group’s now best performing business in Hobson Leavy – a firm that will now get a fat fee for finding his replacement. I wonder if they’ll give themselves a discount? I hope not, as you know how I feel about discounted fees, especially this week. On the flip side of this of course, is a business still in debt, still losing money, and still paying a CEO a lot of money. Like Clinton and Obama, Cherrington’s successes (or lack-of), will be judged in retrospect I feel. The business has been “right-sized” and will either fly or fall over. Time will tell, but if I were him, I’d brief Hobson Leavy to hire an absolute numpty. Just in case.
This isn’t about the Accordant Group however. In their statement, Cherrington is retiring. Now I know Jason, and although he’s certainly more Lionel Richie than Lionel Messi, I wouldn’t quite put him into a Ryman just yet either. The term “retirement” is either to save face, or, with some sound investments, no mortgage, and some non-exec work, he really is getting an allotment, playing golf badly, and just hanging around the house p*ssing his wife off.
This is fine for those who spend enough years making half a million plus, but what about the rest of us? What happens as us recruiters age? When and how can we escape? And what do we do after downing tools?
Many would argue, and I’m one of them, that recruitment – actual recruitment, not managing recruiters – has a finite shelf-life. It is, in the most respectful way, a “young person’s game”. Credit to anyone who continues to love it after 20 years or more, but I’ve reached 21 years, and I would struggle to run a recruitment desk full-time. And although to bump into me in the street, you may assume I’m in my late 20s, I’m actually 45 in two weeks time (shhhhhh!!). I am unique in the fact that I’ve struck a perfect balance of alcohol, caffeine, vitriol, quarterly sex, and salted butter, to somehow preserve myself like a living mummy. Don’t try and copy it as results may vary. Thankfully, via our other businesses, I’m also fortunate to have a variety of work to do to keep me sane, but this isn’t the case for most.
There’s a few things to think about here. Firstly, I want to return to the opening paragraph. You most certainly rarely see old male recruiters in certain disciplines. But you do see their female counterparts. Women haters like Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, and Chris Luxon, would argue that women are in some way genetically predisposed to this type of slightly monotonous, non-managerial work. Those normal people amongst us will notice that historically, a male recruiter who “has a bit about him” tends to get elevated into leadership roles faster. Too often, the same traits described as “a bit about him” gets reclassified as “a right f*cking b*tch” when applied to a woman. Historically, and things are changing, a male recruiter could have a future in management more easily than a woman. Serves ’em right for always complaining that the office is too cold right fellas??!! How ’bout them ABs etc etc.
With recruitment firms shrinking, especially the big ones, we will see even fewer management roles in the future, regardless of gender. So how are we going to get off the tools, and how are we going to retire in our 40s like my first boss promised me? Well, there’s probably four routes. Firstly, we do as per the above and try and clamour through the ranks of an increasingly small number of shrinking recruitment firms. It’s an option, but not necessarily a good one. The other option is to cut our losses, and leave the industry altogether. Recruiters, believe it or not, have skills. Skills that might make us wealthier if taken elsewhere. Once upon a time (and you’ll laugh at this), we’d go on to sell real estate and make Cherrybomb money! Now I don’t know about you, but being a commission only, clip-on-tie, work on a Sunday, pay for my own self-promotion, sycophant can’t be better than this gig surely? There are other careers however, and many politicians and successful business people were Hays trained. You are up against it however. The other option, and probably the most obvious, is to start your own firm. If you want to make serious amounts of cash (and I mean serious), the best way to do it is to start your own recruitment firm and realise that you unknowingly possess a level of business-prowess and self discipline that surprises even your own mother. Because this is the thing; most of us who do our own thing won’t succeed. Most won’t ever sell a business for anything meaningful. Most who do build something saleable will hold on for too long and either sell for a pittance or let the brand disappear. The odds of getting stinking rich from starting a recruitment firm are f*cking tiny. So best of luck to anyone giving it a bash. I include myself in this.
Anyway, that’s enough from me…..ah f*ck. I said four things didn’t I? Don’t you hate it when you try and sound clever and come up short? The fourth thing is (perhaps sadly) the best way to retire early or give yourself “options” in your autumn years. And frankly, it’s the most boring and least likely for any good recruiter to follow. Firstly, you have to bill like crazy. Bill to a level that makes a promotion into management a pay cut. Next, you know that nice car/flash holiday/bag of cocaine? Don’t buy it. Live within your means in a nice home in an up-and-coming area. Use your huge commission cheques to increase your worth. Invest. Buy property. Buy gold and silver bullion. Pay KiwiSaver. Get assets that appreciate. Watch your colleagues suck d*ck (both literally and figuratively) to get promotions. Watch others leave the industry. Feel the pang of “what if” as a recruiter you trained sets up their own firm. And then, as you approach 50, and everyone starts to secretly think “aren’t you a bit old to be running a business support desk?”, pay off your mortgages, hand in your notice, and join Cherrybomb up the allotment.
^SW
