Recruitment is of course getting replaced by AI. We all know this. What will be replaced last is the common recruiter’s “gut instinct”. Here’s my list of red flags and warning signs to look out for when trying to add value to an increasingly dehumanised process. Hell, apply them to your personal life should you wish, and feel free to add your own.
People who don’t drink hot drinks.
Meet for a coffee and watch them awkwardly sip a Bundaberg Ginger Beer. These man/woman children should always be eyed with a level of suspicion. Who, in the first place, can get through a working day without caffeine? I’ll tell you who; people who don’t work hard. Or is it having something warm in their mouth that puts these people off? You don’t need people like that in your life also.
People who show up incredibly early for interviews.
For the record, it’s five minutes max. Any earlier, and you should be pacing round the block. People who show up early for meetings also show up early to parties (in case their invite was a cruel prank). There is nothing cool about trying to look causal in an ill-fitting suit in a reception with only an iPad for company for 45 minutes. You either look disorganised, desperate, or homeless.
People who ring up about a job…but don’t have any pre-prepared questions.
You advertise a role. You try and put as much information on the advert as possible. You purposefully don’t add your phone number (there’s a clue there). Of course, your number is easy to find and the following exchange commences:
“Hi. I saw your ad on SEEK for the role of Lamp-lighter of Old London Town. I wanted to find out some more information”
“Of course. What would you like to know”
“……(pause)…..well….about the job. I want to know about the job”.
Typically, and for some unknown reason, the candidate then becomes annoyed. Hopefully with their own stupidity, but probably not.
People who come up with comical LinkedIn role and business titles for periods of full-time parenting, traveling, and unemployment.
“CEO of laundry”. “CTO (Chief Travel Officer). “Between gigs”. The first to do this was obviously quite the wag. 20 years later, and people are still discovering it like a teenager discovering fingering. We’ve been at it for years mate!
Being sick.
Yes, yes, I know we’re not meant to say this anymore but this blog wouldn’t exist if I only said things I’m meant to say. Sick for the first interview, then sick again for the client one….big trouble. They’ll be sick in week two, sick multiple times before probation is up, and invariably end up as a free replacement. My suggestion? Cod liver oil.
Hobbies.
Hobbies used to be normal, unobtrusive, and would never make their way on to your CV or LinkedIn profile. Things like taxidermy, reading/writing erotic French poetry, and collecting Nazi memorabilia are all fantastic pastimes. In 2026, hobbies have to not only take over your entire life, but also define you as a person. Hyrox, yoga, pilates, travel (when you only go to Bali), wellness, veganism, flat-earthing, gaming, and podcasting should all be eyed with equal suspicion. You are not your fleeting hobby, and the hiring manager doesn’t need to know that you think jumping on to a box is sooo cool.
People who answer their phones when they shouldn’t.
Ever notice that when you call certain people, they always seem to answer standing next to a John Bonham drum solo? Or they’re jet-skiing through the busy kitchen of a Chinese restaurant? You, being polite, ask “is this a good time?”. “NOW’S GOOD!” they scream as the The Royal Edinburgh Military Tattoo kick in to “Amazing Grace” just inches away from their handset. Phone calls are important, yes, but only if you can hear the other mofo.
Having lots and lots and lots of jobs.
As much as those with lots and lots and lots of jobs always have a reason for having lots and lots and lots of jobs, there is never a real reason that deviates from the following four: They are terrible at judging people, businesses, and roles. They are not very nice to work with. They are not good at what they do. They have untreated ADHD.
This was going to be a serious blog about the undeniable upswing in the market, but I’ve learnt my lesson on cursing these things. If things are still busy next Friday, you’ll get some serious recruitment commentary. I promise.
Have a good weekend.
^SW
