A tale of perspective today. As you may or may not know, I am currently in the “United” Kingdom. My use of inverted commas is of course intentional given the general feeling of the place. With Brexit, a recent General Election drubbing of a party in power for 14 years, several high-profile divisive politicians and agent provocateurs, and the British obsession that immigrants are simultaneously stealing jobs but also too lazy to work – the UK is a very tense place right now. Hotels of asylum seekers get set on fire, statues get pulled down for being racist back when everyone was, and the Sun newspaper continuously stirs the pot. Personally, I would have settled for Fiji.
Not content with just making racist chit chat in the pub over 3.5% beers all day, I’ve been using some of my time to meet with a few recruiters. My thinking being that I, with my undeniable charm, could lure a few high performers to New Zealand. That was the plan at least. Like all of my plans however, the world had other ideas.
Complaining about New Zealand (providing you’re a New Zealander) is a national past-time. In fact, it’s this self-deprecating national psyche that first attracted me to Aotearoa versus its more brash thong-wearing cousin. It’s also probably helped me along the way. Retaining a broad English accent, I’ve always felt that I’ve been given more of my fair share of airtime and bandwidth due to my ability to say “peg”, “deck” and “fish”. Recruitment is a case in point. UK ex-pats in New Zealand punch far above their weight in the New Zealand recruitment industry. And if you’ve spent any time in this industry, you would have worked with a high-performer from England, Scotland, Wales, and/or Northern Ireland. It is therefore easy to assume that my trip here would have seen me meeting a plethora of quality recruiters, right?
Alas, I have not.
Yes, there are some quality recruiters here, but they tend to be older and not in a position to move. And as for those hungry young guns who are geographically mobile? Let me tell you, most would die a death in New Zealand. And the one constant theme amongst almost every recruiter I’ve spoken to? Just how much Covid has f*cked them, even if they don’t realise it.
Covid, and more to the point, our response to Covid certainly was a challenging time for everyone in New Zealand. With time, it’s become fashionable to complain about Jacinda’s draconian approach – especially now that we all have covid and no one cares. Indeed it is odd to think back to the masks, the social distancing, the confusion around exercise, your “bubble”, the hotels, the stranded people, that stupid woman in Afghanistan. No matter your view on this, when it comes to recruitment, and more importantly to me, the quality of recruiters and the recruitment industry, NZ dodged a bullet compared to the UK.
Firstly, speaking with a number of recruiters in London, I get the sense that some really enjoyed lockdown. The furlough system gave them a regular income, and their “relaxed” version of social distancing created a party-like atmosphere. In New Zealand, it was like a penance for our ancestors angering the Gods. Here, many recruiters talk about it like it was Club Tropicana and they were the pre-gay George Michael. I met one recruiter who met his wife during lockdown as they shared an apartment building and would have parties in the shared garden. He confirmed that his penis did not stay socially distanced from her vagina for long. There are also a number of firms who let staff go and have never endeavoured to grow again. I can think of only one NZ firm who has taken this approach, with the rest trying to claw their way bag into the big time. I met a chap here who worked in a firm of nearly 40, which shrank to 4, and seem quite happy to continue like this. There is also the effect that Covid has had on the culture of recruitment here in the UK. I was looking forward to meeting a bunch of meeting-getting phone jockeys. Instead, I believe that the reliance on emails and “in mails” here has now even surpassed this awful addiction of their Kiwi counterparts. I can’t tell you how flat and stilted these recruiters have been on the phone. It’s like they’ve never used one before, seeing it purely as an Uber Eats terminal. And don’t get me started on Uber Eats. There is also the “WFH” debate. I assumed that the UK would be the first to drag their recruiters back into the office. This doesn’t seem to be the case. It seems that they’ve really ran with this low-rent business model. And speaking with recruiters – you can tell. People seem poorly trained, and not hugely inspired. Now I can’t suggest that this is exclusively down to Covid, however, I have never spoken as much about Covid (often through the lens of rose-tinted glasses) than I have over the last few weeks. Lost a job? Covid. Met your partner? Covid. Contracting until a perm job comes along? Covid. Don’t like phone calls? Covid. Best time of your life? Covid. Covid covid covid.
There is one thing to be said about these UK recruiters however. Once you do the currency conversion, there are a lot of decidedly average recruiters here who still bill $500k a year. So if you can look past their social anxiety, addiction to delivered food, and inability to hold a conversation, let me know and I’ll flick you a CV.
^SW
