Growing up, my brother had a girlfriend who was collectively known as the “c-word”. Although I say “collectively”, my Mum would never use the term. Instead she preferred to simply acknowledge who the rest of us were referring to when we asked if the c-word was due to visit. Contrary to how this sounds, this was in no way linked to misogyny. She really was a c-word. Maybe it was this verbally liberal household that lead me to be as fast and loose with my language today. For those who have never met me, I’ll be the first to admit, I swear like a sailor. Be it at work, with a client, interviewing a candidate, pitching for new business, or even dealing with my three year old daughter, I am fearless in my use of profanity. People would tell me that this was a sign of a limited vocabulary. That in some way I couldn’t find the words to express my frustration or describe someone displaying poor behaviour. Thankfully, studies have shown these d*ckheads that not only are sweary-mary’s more intelligent, but there’s also a lot of health benefits associated with shouting “for f*ck’s sake” at a minor inconvenience.
Of all the naughty words, the “c-word” has long reigned supreme. Most people these days can handle the “s-word”, even in polite company. The “f-word” is still a mixed bag. Perhaps OK to exclaim when you crash your car, less OK to ask your colleague or sibling if they fancy one. All the other words that raise eyebrows in the US and UK are pretty much fair game here in Aotearoa. Indeed, when I arrived in 2011, it was hearing mild profanity on the radio that first made me fall in love with this place. I came from a culture where the BBC got nervous around “nipples”, let alone “ballbag”. Given that this part of the world is more liberal than others, I was mildly surprised (given the nature of those who work there) that this week gave us Parliament’s first “c-word”. Dropped by clueless-nazi-witch/Workplace Relations Minister Brooke van Velden, it was in reference to an article quoted by Labour criticising van Velden’s belief that poor women should get paid even less ‘cos budgets’n’stuff. Now I’m not going to go into the politics of this, because quite frankly, the political direction of this country and the world is too depressing currently, however, it has got me thinking about swearing in the workplace.
So, a few observations.
The best recruiters I have ever worked with, for, or represented, all seem to swear more than most. Jon Rice wrote a very popular blog many, many years ago about the correlation between smokers and high-billers. Obviously nowadays, no one smokes, so perhaps this link has been severed. Swearing, unlike smoking, is good for our health. Like yoga for your tongue. And good recruiters are often very good swearers. I have a few theories around this. Firstly, high-billing recruiters need to be competitive. With themselves if no one else. And competitive people, by definition, care about the outcome of what they do. And when you care, and things go wrong, you shout “f*ck!!!” across the office. If you don’t, you probably don’t care enough.
Also, swearing bonds us together. When you work in an agency, there is a “them against us” mentality. “Them” could be your competitors. It could be internal recruiters. It could be the Government procurement team. When we have a common enemy, or a common goal, a shared language binds us together. Almost every good and cohesive recruitment office has some nicknames for certain personas that are only understood by those in that office. Our team here has it’s own specific terms for a whole host of things. I would explain them, but you’d never work with us again. Many of these “in jokes” use fruity language.
There are of course many rules around swearing. These are rules are around etiquette, and the problem with etiquette is that it isn’t printed in the Hays rule book when we first join the industry. You have to figure it out as you go, and get it wrong plenty of times along the way. For example, I have seen candidates rejected because they swore in an interview. I have also seen candidates rejected because they didn’t swear in the interview! There is also the “type” of swear word that we can use. As I highlighted above, the s-word can creep into a first interview if used in context. The f-word is much harder to wrangle into your first meeting with Janet in Accounts. The c-word is reserved for Australians and people who are only there because WINZ sent them. We need to suss out if someone is “crap” kinda guy, or a “motherf*cker” kinda guy, and suss it out on the fly. It’s a tightrope. As a rule for the junior recruiter, don’t swear until they do, and stay one step behind them on the profanity meter.
Swearing however, in the right hands, is an incredibly powerful tool. I know that if I can get a client swearing in front of me (and not about me), then I am in a good place. Most business people don’t swear unless they feel comfortable. They don’t swear unless they feel they can trust you. If we can get our clients and candidates to let their guard down to this extent, we’re surely onto a winner. Or am I just being a daft c*nt?
^SW
